My First Hate Mail
originally posted right after the Department of Euthanization article
I want to savor this moment. I want to bask in the glow of this for just a second because I finally got…
That’s right I finally pissed someone off enough that they had to say something. After roughly a year of belittling and mocking: Fat people, ugly people, old people, famous people, stupid people, political people, and espousing my hate for the entirety of four states in the country I made someone mad enough to try to poke back. Who is it you ask? What group of people did I piss off enough to make them write to me? FUCKING VEGETARIANS. Go figure. Before I get to the hate mail I just want to point out that unless I checked my site occasionally for comments and such, I never would have found this. Apparently the link, on the right, under the heading Links For Here that says contact is not clear enough.
Apparently the link at the bottom of almost every article I put up that says. Email Me and links to the email form on the contact page isn’t clear enough. The person who left me hate mail didn’t even email me. They scrolled all the way to the very bottom of the main page, and on the very last article, wrote it in the comments. Now unfortunately the coding on my site is being a bit wonky and has been pushing old articles off the main page, and not into the archives like it’s supposed to, so here is a screen capture of the comment box.
And now, finally, the first ever How To Kill People (dot) Com hate mail. (Presented piece by piece, but unedited. My responses are in bold)
Nam0 Vegan
Comments : I didnt read all of the web but I did read about the vegetarian part.
I’ll forgive you. I know it’s hard to take in so much awesomeness all at once.
You are a bitter human being.
Duh
I dont think we are meant to eat meat.
Good for you, it’s my website, and you’re wrong
We have digits like monkeys who are mostly vegetarians except for chimpanzes are occasionally seen ripping an animal apart.
I like the fact that your arguement likens us to other primates as your primary reason as to why we should not eat meat and then goes on to say …except for chimpanzees who are occassionally seen ripping an animal apart . Good fucking job, you contradicted yourself in your fourth sentence, cocksack.
All other primates are vegetarians.
Except for the aforementioned ones that tear animals apart and attack and kill humans. Not to mention the following list of primates that are not vegetarians: orangutans, Bonobos, Macaques, Gorillas…oh fuck it, I give up, you get the point.
All meat eaters have claws to catch the prey. they have short esophaguses (excuse my misspelling of that word) That is to get the meat out fast and ours are very long so we can get the most nutrients from the food.
Would you like to know what I use to catch prey? THE FUCKING GROCERY STORE! I’m smarter than the animals in the wild, that’s why they’re still in the wild, hunting food, and I live in a city, in a building protected from the elements and when I get hungry I don’t go pick out the weakest homeless man and kill him. (mostly because they’re too gamey and infested)
You see meat putrifies from the minute the animal is killed.
And vegetables rot on the vine…your fucking point is? Have you actually checked out what our digestive system is designed to do?
Those pointed teeth are so miniscule compared to the teeth of a carnivour, come on.
Would you like to know what’s really cool? My brain is something like twelve times the size of a Tyranosaurus Rex’ brain. This has allowed people to develop implements . Implements is a big word for TOOLS, by the way. You see not having claws and humongous teeth put humans at a disadvantage in the animal kingdom, so we developed weapons which allow us to hunt and kill things much larger than ourselves. Then, because our teeth are not as large as other predators we developed things like THE KNIFE AND FUCKING FORK. This allows me to cut the animal, that has been killed, into pieces that are bite size enough for me to enjoy.
The list goes on and on.
yes, ad naseum, as previously mentioned.
We are not meant to eat meat. But even if we were as cavemen, do you really want to continue to breed and slaughter billions of animals every year for something we really dont need for our health?
YES, sweet juming jesus on a pogo-stick, I do want to continue slaughtering animals. I enjoy eating meat. When I barbeque a nice thick tri-tip I like to make sure it’s nice and bloody when I take it off of the grill. If we don’t need meat for our health, then why is every vegetarian I see look like a strong wind will blow them away? Why is it vegetarians have to supplement their diet with protein pills and manufactured protein? YOU NEED PROTEIN TO SURVIVE! Where else is protein more readily available than in a large, stupid, but oh-so tasty cow?
If so maybe you should have been around during cave days.
Now that would have been great. Granted I probably would have died in an unfortunate attempt to impress my friends by pissing on the foot of a T-Rex but think about it: Running around naked, farting all the time, dinosaurs, fire everywhere….but there was no internet porn, and I need internet porn.
We are evolving.
BLOW ME!
Not only did you back up your statements with bullshit and contradictions you failed to make your point. I am glad you wrote to me though, just for you I am going to go up to my mother’s farm and slaughter one of their rabbits (which they raise for meat and fur) but not until I name it after you.
Love,
Travis
May 23rd, 2006 at 10:17 pm
Haha. That was awesome I totally agree with everything you said.
I fucking hate vegetarians so if I meet new ones I’ll make sure to bring a hamburger with me.
June 3rd, 2006 at 3:03 pm
…that was some good reading but im hungery now, ima go get me somthing dead and put it on the grill…..
June 20th, 2006 at 2:24 pm
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! OH YIKES I WANT A SALAD
July 26th, 2006 at 6:52 pm
you all need to ket fucking lives and be meat free!!!!!!
July 26th, 2006 at 10:33 pm
Kat,
I’d like to invite you to a BBQ.
August 6th, 2006 at 5:30 am
If I wanted to be meatfree I would turn into a carrot. Meat is good, especially veal and lamb, and all the little cute ones, I think the cuteness gives it good flavour.
October 12th, 2006 at 1:26 am
Dude, I missed this article! I’m totally jealous-vegetarian hate mail is the best. I need to write about killing bambi and eating his still warm heart right there in the field, just so I can get me somma that veggie hate mail!
October 19th, 2006 at 12:37 pm
vegetarians are given that name because they are in a special group - like retards. we are normal people. just to put it one stage further i think all cannibals should eat vegetarians
October 29th, 2006 at 11:31 pm
Ilove meat I have Kin folk that are veges and it kills me everyone just eat meat
December 5th, 2006 at 9:13 pm
FUCK YOU ALL!! I should eat all of your babies with some sweet steak sauce and seasoning salt.
December 23rd, 2006 at 3:53 pm
That Was Fucking Hilarious. Made My Day.
January 1st, 2007 at 8:16 pm
youre dummb u cant accept criticism
March 8th, 2007 at 12:17 am
hes dumb because he cant accept criticism? um, the guy who mailed him did so because he couldn’t handle being criticized for being a celery sucker. Sure, you can have you’re moral objections but you can’t deny that we’re built to eat the shit, teeth and digestive system says it all.
March 25th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Vegan, more power to ya, but I’m going to eat slain animals with seasoning. I gave up red meat for Lent one year- never been sicker. I took that as a sign from Above. (It was really a distress signal from my immune system, but I’ll play the God card.) If my intestines are swarming with parasites, so be it. So don’t ever harass me at the store, because I’ll put the meat in my cart anyway. If it makes you feel better, I can slaughter you and serve you as a salad.
March 27th, 2007 at 7:17 pm
u soooooooo cool n mi site is on dem google 1ns but ho cares i also humiliate people frm da kid ho hates bambo da twat
March 27th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
vegis suk cok i eat donkey diks, up urs try it out meat is gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood
March 28th, 2007 at 7:20 pm
I have no idea what all of that is supposed to mean.
March 30th, 2007 at 12:47 am
I wonder if dd even knows. A vegan gone insane for lack of protein………….or a meat eater with Mad Cow? You decide.
April 16th, 2007 at 8:29 pm
Your website is pathetic, you stupid Maddox-Wannabe.
April 17th, 2007 at 4:28 am
Sf - Wow, you’ve cut me to the core. It stings, it burns….wait, it only does that when I pee and I hate you.
April 30th, 2007 at 5:24 am
Paul McCartney sez: “I never eat anything with a face” and it hasn’t killed him yet, although eating his ex-wife’s leg nearly did. She had her other foot in his mouth when he bailed out. Just watch and digest the movie “Fast Food Nation.” End of debate, you vomitous
mass of parasitical chemical ridden ignorant murderous fucks! If you can suck-up the tri-tips, go carve up some carcasses, and I hope you slip on the intestines as you’re hosing down the kill floor!…. But I mean this in a good way..Don’t Hate!
April 30th, 2007 at 4:20 pm
Yeah, I’ve read fast food nation and it didn’t change my dietary habits at all. I hope you die in a horrible fire, but I mean that in a good way.
June 1st, 2007 at 5:47 am
I hope my tri-tip comes out juicy. I mean that in a carnivorous way.
July 12th, 2007 at 3:23 am
This person is a fuck tart(makes me wanna punch a baby)!! It is sad how they think that people can live on veggies alone except for the occatoinal time they feel like ripping some one to shreds (not that I disagree with that part XD)
August 8th, 2007 at 11:13 am
Another point for Travis and 0 for the vegan emo kid who can’t digest broth because it had beef in it. Like Ron White said, “Your Body Is Rejecting Broth?!” We are not supossed to eat meat phfff HAHA !!! Here is a better Idea. How bout the guy who wrote the hate mail completely rejects oxygen and breath methane instead. I mean it! this person should embrace nature to the fullest. CHOKE YOURSELF VEGGY BOY
September 4th, 2007 at 12:39 am
Of all the things on this site, the vegetarian shit offended this cock sucker? What a tool. You totally owned his dumb ass…. keep fighting the good fight.
September 8th, 2007 at 9:48 pm
I can’t believe that faggot Scott (comment 25) actually quoted Ron White. What a fucking loser. Ron White? Ron Fucking White? Get a real sense of humor Scotty boy and quit bitchin’ about vegetarians (or anybody for that matter) as long as you can quote Ron White.
I’d like to knock the teeth right out of your Ron White loving head.
September 9th, 2007 at 4:57 am
awwwwww how cute
can you name a rabbit after me?
my name is salvador
lol
September 21st, 2007 at 3:01 pm
I think it is horrible how animals are slaughtered. There is a disconnection from humanity and a stone cold acceptance and ignorance that animals are not tortured for our consumption. The do have emotions and thoughts and are living beings. If any of you watched a cow being slaughtered and the screams and fear that it is showing, you may think twice. Plus the hormones they inject into most non-organic meat is what is fucking up our health more and more in this country.
Idont mean to come off as a snob, I am just saying you should research something before you speak about it.
September 22nd, 2007 at 1:28 am
i just want to say that i’m a vegetarian and not offended at all, everyone is entitled to their own opinions. also just an fyi, scientists just found out that sea turtles are not in fact vegetarians as they originally thought. they spend their first 5 years in the ocean eating jellyfish, then spend the rest of their lives as vegetarians. maybe the person who wrote you this hate email should actually spend some time getting their facts straight about what animals eating habits are. and for ruby, ever heard of kosher meat? maybe you should read around as well. not all animals are slaughtered so cruely, not to mention aren’t plants living? they may not scream like meat, but do they have feelings too? i think the people who have been reading your posts are ignorant, travis. keep up the good work!
September 26th, 2007 at 10:39 am
..if u think we wernt suppose to eat meat why did u describe darwinism[i think]also history says we were meant to eat meat …and if we dont eat the meat there would be dead cows everywhere and they would die in vein….this site kicks ass keep it up travis!
October 24th, 2007 at 9:21 am
I actually think that it would be cool to hunt, kill, fuck the dead corpse of a vegetarian, and feed it back to the homeless! Dick heads here in Sactown piss me off when I go to get a bottle of JD and they have signs that say “I’m Hungry” “I’ll Work For Food”… Motherfucker, I got something for you to eat! Vegetarian, chili with beans BITCH!
LONG LIVE BBQ RIBS AND BIG FAT TASTY FUCKING ANIMAL PARTS!
October 26th, 2007 at 8:41 pm
LOL, you know, It technically isn`t cannabalism to kill and eat a vegetarian.
December 17th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
LAUGHED MY FUCKIN’ ASS OFF DUDE.
December 20th, 2007 at 3:38 am
If people were suppose to vegetarians, then why was BBQ sauce created?
I have man tits!!!
December 30th, 2007 at 9:09 pm
who gives a fuck if a cow has feelings anyway, the cow is the dumb fuck standing around being delicious and waiting to be eaten, it’s not our fault. eating meat was a crucial part in human evolution, it caused massive growth to the human brain. If we never ate meat we’d still be living in trees. if anything we should be eating more animals.. shit we haven’t tried yet. anyone for platypus? if we don’t eat them, how will we know if they’re delicious or not? Ruby says “If any of you watched a cow being slaughtered and the screams and fear that it is showing, you may think twice.” you’re right i might think twice, about what sauce i’m gonna put on that fucker… hell if i could id just push that cow into a fire and eat it as it cooks, who gives a shit if the things still alive screaming. if it’s ass is cooked i’m eating it.
January 10th, 2008 at 5:51 am
Vegans, your turn.
February 23rd, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I DONT BELIVE IN KILLING ANIMALS BUT THE HATE MAIL WAS A BIT OVER THE TOP!!!!!!!!!
February 25th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
p.s my 11yr old sis wrote that omg i am so banning her and roasting her alive SLOWLY
ignore all comments (exspet the comment on trans movie that move sucked moron)
March 9th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Ruby says “If any of you watched a cow being slaughtered and the screams and fear that it is showing, you may think twice.” You know what, I have seen a cow getting slaughtered…And I LAUGHED!!!! I laughed uncontrollably until the meat was all packaged up and given to me. Then you know what I did? I went home and I tore into that warm cow meat like it was fucking sushi!!!! SUCK IT!!!!
June 16th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Ruby says “If any of you watched a cow being slaughtered and the screams and fear that it is showing, you may think twice.”
That is bullshit In my insignificant European tiny country (Eastern Europe ex yugoslavia,) we have a tradition of publicly slaghtering animals at a certain time of year for entertaiment, food and education. Because it’s God damn traditional. Nobody knows the fuck why. But we God damn eat it and are fucking happy to. Blow me vegans in my country they would presume you mentally ill for not eating meat.
June 16th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
For all of you meat eaters out there…someday I’ll have a bbq for all of you.
September 7th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
LMAOOOO God Bless you sir, God Bless you and everyone of your ten toes